This Christian argument does not hold up. Drop it.
That Judaism is about earning God's favour by keeping rules, and that Jesus and Paul replaced that with grace. It is a tidy story.
It is also wrong.
E. P.
Sanders took this apart in 1977 and the field moved. Judaism in Jesus's day was a religion of covenant grace with obligations.
You are in because God chose you, and you live accordingly. That is closer to the New Testament than the caricature is.
Repeating it tells your Jewish friend you have never actually asked them what they believe. You are arguing with a cartoon, and they can hear it immediately.
Ask. You will learn something true, and you will be trusted with the answer.
"What do you actually believe about how a person stands right with God?"



Some scholars think Sanders went too far, but the caricature is still wrong.
The only real pushback runs the other way. Some scholars in the 'new perspective' debate argue that E. P. Sanders overcorrected, and that Second Temple sources do contain strands where merit is weighed. 4 Ezra is one. That is true, and it is beside the point of the practice this entry bans.
Whatever the academic balance turns out to be, one thing holds. Telling a Jewish friend her religion is loveless rule-keeping is false about the Judaism she actually lives. Her Shabbat table. Her liturgy of mercy. Her grandmother's kindness. It also marks the speaker at once as someone who has never read a page of the prayer book.
Don't use it: it fails the sources, the prayer book, and the person in front of you.
Do not use it. It fails academically, after Sanders. It fails liturgically too: read Avinu Malkeinu, which is a prayer for mercy nobody has earned. And it fails relationally, because it insults the hearer's own life.
It also misreads Paul, whose argument in Romans 9-10 is about Israel and the Messiah, not about Jews lacking grace. Replace it with the honest dividing line this whole section is built on. Both traditions believe in grace. They disagree about who the Messiah is.